Coffee break · Construction Jokes Estimating is serious. This page isn't.
A laugh at the industry's expense is good for the soul. Ten clean construction and estimating jokes — safe for the job trailer, the bid room, and the Monday safety meeting.
Site notes
Ten jokes, zero change orders.
Site note 01The plans said "not to scale." Finally — something on this project that's honest.
Site note 02Why did the estimator bring a ladder to the bid opening? To reach the high numbers before the competition did.
Site note 03An estimator's two favorite numbers: the one that wins the job, and the one that still makes money. We aim for the overlap.
Site note 04Why don't estimators play hide and seek? Good ones always find what's missing from the drawings.
Site note 05The architect called the design "simple." The addenda disagreed — all nine of them.
Site note 06How many estimators does it take to change a light bulb? One — plus the fixture schedule, the spec section, and an RFI about who's supplying the bulb.
Site note 07A GC asked for a "ballpark number." The estimator asked which ballpark — and whether that included the parking lot, the lights, and the concession stand.
Site note 08Our favorite spec phrase: "or approved equal." Our least favorite RFI answer about it: "No."
Site note 09Bid day math: two hours to the deadline, three subs still missing, and one coffee left. Somehow the coffee runs out first.
Site note 10Why did the concrete estimator and the drawing set get along so well? They both knew exactly where they stood — on grade.
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